Save Your Sanity: Keep Gift Overwhelm Under Control

by Kristin Harad, Owner, VitaVie Financial Planning www.newparentfinances.com.

If you already have children, you know what stress the holidays can bring when it comes to gifts for your little ones. Many of your friends and relatives ---- especially grandparents ---- MUST express their love through voluminous gifts! You may already be shuttering with the overwhelm that sets in when you think about where all of the new toys will fit. With most of us, our children are too young to appreciate the difference of two presents versus ten yet. They are too busy playing with the wrapping paper or the box to notice fifteen more gifts lined up with their name on them! If you just had a baby, you may have experienced this phenomenon with the birth of your child.

The gesture of gift giving in and of itself is certainly appreciated, but the aftermath that shows itself in the towering stacks and growing sprawl of toys and clothes can quickly fill any Bay Area living room or closet. Guilt can also set in when you think about how much money everyone spends and how you really could use that cash for something more fulfilling than clutter---such as funding your financial goals.

How do you find a balance that will keep you sane?

PURGE: Before the holidays arrive, start a Clean Out Process of outgrown or excessive toys. If your children are old enough, you can engage them in the process, asking them to select which toys they are “too old for” in order to make room for the new stuff that’s coming. If they are younger or will fight you tooth and nail to keep every last toy (even those they have not touched in months!), consider using your evening hours to collect and store toys in the garage or put them in the car for that next donation run. The same thing applies for clothing ----purge the outfits that are borderline, too small, or you have never dressed your child in---and store or donate them. Remember, clothing and toy donations can be a tax deduction if you itemize.

SET LIMITS: We’re used to setting limits with our children, but when it comes to our parents, we may not ever consider it. Remind your family that you have limited space or confess your overwhelm by the number of gifts you expect to flow in this year. Give each relative (who needs it) a limit on the number of gifts you’ll accept from them. In extreme cases, do not be afraid to threaten to send back gifts ---- it may sound harsh, but it is effective for that over-the-top shopper! Alternatively, or in addition, you can make specific suggestions as to how they can best give gifts that are suitable for your child(ren). Remind your parents and any other relatives who either do not know what to give or want to give more, that especially while the children are young, helping to fund their college education is always a useful and much appreciated gift. Recommend that the giver write a card to the child that you can save and give to your child when s/he goes to college. This way the gift has meaning later when it WILL matter to the child. When it comes to giving money, every taxpayer can give a gift of $12,000 to anyone without a tax implication.

PARTY! When it comes to exchanging gifts with your Mom’s group or other playgroup, agree to have a party or fun outing rather than exchange presents. This works particularly well while your children are under 3. They will not notice one more book or Lego set, but you will appreciate the festivities with friends (and the relief of not having to select yet another gift after all of the birthday parties!)

SAY CHEESE! Some of the best and most affordable gifts that you can give this holiday season are photos of your child(ren). This is especially good for the grandparents or other family members who already “have everything.” Either frame a beautiful shot of your gorgeous child, or find one where the receiver is in a photo with your child. A nice brag book with photos is thoughtful and personal ---especially when it goes to grandma!

SMILE and SAY THANK YOU. In the end, you may receive more gifts for your child than you expect or have room for. Just keep in mind that the gift giver truly does mean well. So smile, say thank you, and decide after the holidays have settled down whether or not you will be making another trip to the Salvation Army.