Talking Tips
(Coaching Tips to dramatically improve how you are heard and perceived)
Talk Tip: The “I’s” Have it
“Enough about me, let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?”~ unknown
The old adage of ‘It’s not what you say but how you say it’ has never been so true. Professional women are intelligent, savvy, excellent communicators BUT, BUT, BUT---still find themselves scratching their heads wondering why what they are communicating is not being heard.
Try this tip on for size…the Tip is---The “I’s” Have It”. What do the “I’s” have? The “I”s have a sneaky way of creeping into you’re your speech and sabotaging you. By starting your communications with “I” think, “I” feel, etc. when the subject of the sentence is not you…you distract the listener by inviting them to focus on you v. focusing on the point at hand. Here are some common phrases (see if you can hear yourself saying them):
• I have a problem with Kerry’s work ethic.
• I feel like I’m being overlooked.
• I don’t feel I can meet that deadline; I have too much work left to do.
• I think we need to pull together as a team
So what’s wrong with those statements you might be asking? Let’s break it down. Take #1. What are you trying to get the listener to focus on? (Hint: the answer is Kerry’s work ethic, and that her work ethic is a problem). By starting your sentence with “I have a problem” you have made yourself the focus and guess what? You have just told the listener you have a problem. You don’t have a problem, Kerry does. Kerry is who needs fixing not you. See what I mean? Kerry is the subject of the sentence not you (kind of makes you shiver thinking of 7th grade grammar doesn’t it)---But it is true. So you have self sabotaged by deflecting the attention in the wrong direction. A simple rephrase “Kerry’s work ethic is a problem” now conveys your message.
This quick table demonstrates the “I” statement---Perception-----Rephrase
“I” STATEMENT
I have a problem with Kerry’s work ethic.
I feel like I am being overlooked
I don’t feel I can take that on and meet the deadline; I have too much work left to do.
I think we need to pull together as a team if we want to meet our goals
Indecisive and not sure of the problem
Perception
The problem is you and yours to fix
Whiny. Victim.
You’ve mismanaged your time.
Rephrase
Kerry’s work ethic is a problem
The process prohibits equal input.
Additional resource will be needed to make that happen.
Teamwork is critical to our success.
So this next week:
• Listen for others use of “I”---(when they are not really the subject at hand) and jot down how you would rephrase it
• Have someone listen to you in a meeting or professional conversation and write down 3 instances where you used “I” when you weren’t the subject of the issue.---Then say out loud the ‘rephrase’. (Really do say it out loud---it makes a big difference in creating the habit).
• Craft what you want to say in your next meeting by writing down your main points, making sure you state your message without the “I’s” having it.
• Go knock ‘em dead!
Talking Tips
Wow, I definitely heard myself in the "I" statements. Using "I" was my was of softening statements to seem more cooperative. I never realized how undermining this is. I'm going to work on changing this deeply ingrained habit (although there are a lot of "I" statements in this post)!
Thank you!
Abercrombie & Fitch (NYSE:
Abercrombie & Fitch (NYSE: ANF), abercrombie henleys crew Abercrombie Hoodies the pricey teen clothing retailer, said today it will continue to markdown Abercrombie London its clothes in order to boost sales.ugg boots Jonathan Ramsden, CFO for Abercrombie, said the company will give up Abercrombie Clothing margins to improve its sales. In February Abercrombie Outerwear Abercrombie said same-store sales were abercrombie mens hollister uk up Abercrombie Fitch Abercrombie Shorts Abercrombie Tees 5% year-over-year, but average abercrombie womens unit prices were down 14% due to discounting. Abercrombie initially refused to markdown its clothing at the start of the recession in 2008 and lost market lace wigs to rivals American Eagle Outfitters hollister Ruehl 925 (NYSE: AEO) Abercrombie and Aeropostale (NYSE: ARO). Sales declined dramatically for Abercrombie during wedding dresses Abercrombie Shirts the recession Abercrombie Outlet and the company posted nine consecutive quarters Abercrombie UK of same-store Abercrombie Pants sale declines. Mr. Ramsden said the company hopes to report same-store sales increases for Abercrombie Polo 2010. While Abercrombie And Fitch impressive, given that every month in 2010 Abercrombie Sweater will be compared against double-digit drops in Abercrombie Jeans sales is not too difficult to achieve. ugg boots
yryr
Vintage America replica handbags Collection looks handbags (not all the fake handbags looks in the gucci handbags collection were designed gucci wallets by the singer) chanel handbags including clogs chanel wallets with a D-ring louis vuitton handbags buckle, sporty lace-up wedges, louis vuitton wallets and a crepe sole desert boot.
rolex
Vacheron breitling Constantin Patrimony Traditionnelle tag heuer Chronograph Perpetual CalendarVacheron cartier Constantin is one of hublot those great brands that constantly patek philippe surprise their fans with new cartier watches watches that amaze the whole omega watches world
rolex
by their perfection fake watches All its models –Vacheron Constantin audemars piguet Classique Tourbillon, Vacheron omega Constantin, Patrimony fake rolex Traditionelle, Vacheron Constantin breitling watches Malte and many others replica watches are true masterpieces that cannot be rolex overestimated.
nike sb
You'll be fascinated by nike sb high quality and dizzying array of colors and patterns.You'll be crazy about nike sb sale|nike dunk low|nike dunks|nike dunk sb|nike dunk high|cheap nike sb|nike dunk mid|ghd pink.
replica watches
The same gang of burglarsA.Lange & Sohne watches is believed to have swiss watchesstruck three times at the DeWitt for salepremises of Louis Vuitton inGlashutte for sale the Victoria Quarter, LeedsBell & Ross for sale city centre, in 11 days. Today policeChanel for sale urged anyone who has replica watchesbeen offered Louis Vuitton leatherware replica Christian Diorat cheaper than normal prices not to be replica Grahamtempted to buy. They should instead ring replica dooney and bourkeDetective Sergeant Dave Lindley at Citybalenciaga replica handbagsand Holbeck CID on Leeds 2414659ysl bags or Crimestoppers anonymously on designer handbagsFreephone 0800 555 111. In the firstchloe replica handbags attack, on February 15, the gang used burberry replica handbagsa building block to smash its wayversace handbags through the door before grabbing high quality prada handbagsleather bags, wallets and belts valued at in excess marc jacobs bagsof [pounds sterling]15,000. They loaded the paul smith baghaul into a stolen red Honda Civic car and fled.
Snow Boots
Our website is making a great promotion now. There are many preferential ugg boots . At present , hot sale ugg classic boots such as: Snow Boots | UGGs On Sale | UGG Australia Boots | UGG Classic Boots UGG Classic Short II | UGG Classic Short Boots II UGG Gissella | UGG Gissella Boots UGG Payton | UGG Payton Boots UGG Sandra | UGG Sandra Boots UGG Bailey Button Triplet | UGG Bailey Button Triplet Boots UGG Kensington | UGG Kensington Boots UGG Stripe Cable Knit | UGG Classic Tall Stripe Cable Knit | UGG Classic Tall Stripe Cable Knit Boots UGG Felicity | UGG Felicity Boots UGG Classic Tall 5885 | UGG Classic Tall Boots 5885 UGG Chrystie | UGG Chrystie Boots UGG Broome | UGG Broome Boots UGG Bailey Button Fancy | UGG Bailey Button Fancy Boots UGG Adirondack II | UGG Adirondack Boots II UGG Kid's | UGG Kid's Boots UGG Kid's Bailey Button | UGG Kid's Bailey Button Boots UGG Kid's Classic Tall | UGG Kid's Classic Tall Boots UGG Kid's Classic Short | UGG Kid's Classic Short Boots UGG Men 's Classic Short | UGG Men 's Classic Short Boots UGG Gaviota | UGG Gaviota Boots UGG Swell Tall | UGG Swell Tall Boots UGG Roseberry | UGG Roseberry Boots UGG Brookfield Tall | UGG Brookfield Tall Boots UGG Stella | UGG Stella Boots UGG Caroline | UGG Caroline Boots UGG High-Heel Tall | UGG High-Heel Tall Boots UGG Tess | UGG Tess Boots UGG Desoto | UGG Desoto Boots UGG Brookfield | UGG Brookfield Boots UGG Smithfield | UGG Smithfield Boots UGG Shoreline | UGG Shoreline Boots UGG Ashur | UGG Ashur Boots UGG Cove | UGG Cove Boots UGG Men's Brookfield | UGG Men's Brookfield Boots UGG Bailey Button | UGG Bailey Button Boots UGG Argyle Knit | UGG Classic Argyle Knit Boots UGG Cardy | UGG Classic Cardy Boots UGG Crochet | UGG Classic Crochet Boots UGG Flower | UGG Classic Flower Boots UGG Leopard | UGG Classic Tall Leopard Boots UGG Mini | UGG Classic Mini Boots UGG Paisley | UGG Classic Paisley Boots UGG Short | UGG Classic Short Boots UGG Tall | UGG Classic Tall Boots UGG Elsey Wedge | UGG Elsey Wedge Boots UGG Infants Erin | UGG Infants Erin Boots UGG Langley | UGG Langley Boots UGG Lo Pro | UGG Lo Pro Boots UGG Lo Pro Button | UGG Lo Pro Button Boots UGG Locarno | UGG Locarno Boots UGG Mayfaire | UGG Mayfaire Boots UGG Nightfall | UGG Nightfall Boots UGG Rainier Eskimo | UGG Rainier Eskimo Boots UGG Sundance II | UGG Sundance II Boots UGG Ultimate Bind | UGG Ultimate Bind Boots UGG Ultra Short | UGG Ultra Short Boots UGG Ultra Tall | UGG Ultra Tall Boots UGG Suede | UGG Suede Boots UGG Upside | UGG Upside Boots UGG Roxy | UGG Roxy Boots UGG Seline | UGG Seline Boots UGG Corinth Wedge | UGG Corinth Wedge Boots UGG Liberty | UGG Liberty Boots UGG Highkoo | UGG Highkoo Boots UGG Knightsbridge | UGG Knightsbridge Boots UGG Bomber Jacket | UGG Bomber Jacket Boots UGG Adirondack | UGG Adirondack Boots UGG Suburb Crochet | UGG Suburb Crochet Boots UGG Boots | UGGs On Sale | Cheap UGG Boots UGG Boots | UGGs On Sale | Cheap UGG Boots UGG Boots | UGGs On Sale | Cheap UGG Boots UGG Boots | UGGs On Sale | Cheap UGG Boots UGG Size Guide | UGG Boots | UGGs On Sale Nike basketball shoes,NBA lebron james shoes&kobe bryant shoes on sale.Cheap Nike basketball Shoes online store,We provide many kinds of NBA Players' Shoes,Such as Lebron James Shoes,kobe bryant shoes,Kevin Durant Shoes,Steve Nash Shoes,Allen Iverson Shoes,Dwight Howard Shoes,Tim Duncan Shoes,Vince Carter Shoes,Team Basketball Shoes,Kevin Garnett Shoes,Gilbert Arenas Shoes,Chris Paul Shoes,Carmelo Anthony Shoes,Please choose one style of NBA Shoes from our online store for free... Tiffany | Tiffany Necklaces | Tiffany Jewellery | Timberland Boots Please believe us , we will use passionate service attitude to receive you , until you buy satisfied goods.